


Strength

by SuhailaUniverse



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, One Shot, fic prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:25:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9518654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuhailaUniverse/pseuds/SuhailaUniverse
Summary: PROMPT: Hi! I was hoping you could write something which details how difficult Brianna’s birth would have been if she stayed for both her and Jamie? A few fics have touched on it but I feel like they gloss over her recovery and such. I just love worried Jamie and how his only real weakness is Claire and his family. Plus it would be cute to see him taking care of newborn Bree while Claire recovers.





	

The birth had been difficult and bloody. Far more difficult than Claire had anticipated. It had left her drained; her entire body reverberated with a constant, bone-deep shiver. The worst of it though had been watching the devastating effect it had on Jamie. He didn’t sleep, nor could he eat. His face contorted in a painful grimace. He just sat by her and the baby, unable to bring himself to look away, let alone leave the room for fear if he did, he’d lose them both. He hadn’t been there when Faith was born and now thought he never would have been able to survive seeing Claire suffer as she did, twice.

Claire could feel the toll it took on him and wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but all she seemed to have the strength for was tending to their little miracle. Their little Brianna.

***

Claire half-sat in bed, barely able to cradle Bree to her breast, cooing softly as the little one clamped down painfully on her sensitive nipple. _Thank God_ , she thought, _thank God she had the strength I hadn’t yet. Keep her safe._ She looked up and smiled weakly at Jamie, his face drawn in utter desolation, shaky hands resting on Claire’s thighs.

“I’m alright, Jamie. _We’re_ alright,” she reassured him once again. “It’ll just a take a little time to recover. But I will.” Jamie watched helplessly, his heart clenching in his chest seeing Claire wince as Bree suckled, biting her lip so didn’t cry out.

Against his better judgement, he’d agreed to let Claire return to Lallybroch before Culloden with Fergus - who stubbornly wouldn’t leave without her, insisting he’d see her safe. _Stubborn clot-heids, the lot of them!_ He thought. Little did Jamie know, the decision would drench itself in blood. He’d never seen anything like it. Not even his near-fatal wounds after the battle came close to what he’d seen in that room during the birth. Much as Jenny and Claire urged, he’d refused to leave, refused to let go of Claire.

The curtain billowed, the gust of wind bringing with it snippets of sounds of life going on about them, but the room itself was quiet, save the wee sounds Brianna made - she let out a tiny burp, making Jamie smile despite himself. He closed his eyes, unable to shake off the sound of Claire’s cries that still echoed deep within his marrow. She’d tried - at first - to keep from crying out. For his sake, he thought, more than anything. But as the birth sapped her energy, the pain had consumed her - and Jamie.

Claire’s hand covered his where it lay on her leg. “Jamie,” she whispered. _A Dhia, she doesna even have strength for speaking_ , he thought achingly. “Jamie. I know you’re scared - so am I. But we can’t both be at the same time. Not now. She needs us to be strong - at least one of us must be. It has to be you, love.”

“It’s taken more strength than I have, _mo nighean donn_ , to see ye so,” he said, voice cracking. A large, blunt finger lightly traced Bree’s cheek - she twitched, the new sensation tickling. “And she’s just so _small_! I dinna know how to… I dinna want to hurt her,” he said, afraid. He’d only held her a couple of times, and even then gingerly and for a short time.

“Here,” Claire said trying to sit up causing Jamie to yelp and rush forward to help. “Take her. Hold her. She won’t break, I promise.” Seeing his face lined with uncertainty, she added, “I need rest and I’ll only trust her with you. Jamie, I know you can do this, I’ve seen you with Jenny’s children. Here,” she held Brianna out to him, and seeing her hands sway up and down with the baby’s weight, Jamie hastily took the bairn in his arms, carefully finding a way to hold her comfortably. Bree snuggled against his chest, immediately gravitating toward him. _His warmth_ , Claire thought, smiling. She lay back, watching him walk about the room, gently swaying his little bundle from side to side.

He didn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, quietly snuffling, watching as Bree rubbed her wee fists against her nose where a droplet had fallen. “ _Taing Dhia_ ,” he said softly. Another droplet hit her nose making her sneeze and making him laugh for the first time in what felt a lifetime. He looked up to see if Claire had heard it too, but saw she’d fallen asleep, a smile on her face. “ _Taing Dhia_ ,” he said once more, coming completely undone.

***

As days turned to weeks, Jamie’s confidence had not only grown, but he’d become increasingly proficient in everything Brianna. From clout changes to putting her to bed, all done like clockwork - if he could feed her too, he’d have easily mastered that as well, much to Claire’s irritation. She’d been regaining her strength, but slower than she would have liked. More than anything, that bugged her most. She hated feeling helpless.

A week after giving birth she’d been determined to be of more use than a pair of food dispensers, and after feeding Bree was resolutely going to burp her herself.

“Sassenach, gi’ the lassie here, you canna even sit up on yer-” Jamie began gently reprimanding to which Claire cut him off briskly.

“I can and I will, damn you,” she said with little heat, trying to sit up one handed while awkwardly balancing Bree on her shoulder. As she did, the clumsy jostling caused the bairn to suddenly gargle and promptly vomit all over her mother’s shoulder and bosom. “Bugger.”

Jamie stood a moment, hands on hips, watching his wife’s futile attempts at cleaning the mess, Bree absorbed in tangling her wee fist in Claire’s curls. _Tsk_ ing like a damned Scottish housewife, Jamie carefully disentangled Bree’s fingers from Claire’s hair, took the baby and set her down on the bed beside her, and taking the cloth Claire’d been - unsuccessfully - using to tidy up over to the water basin, wet it and deftly stripped her of her dirty shift, wiped her clean and donned her with a fresh one, before she could even huff a ‘by your leave.’

A few days later, Claire had decided what she needed was exercise. She’d been in bed too long and wanted to move about, be able to hold the bairn without it draining her energy. Jamie had thought it too soon yet for her to try on her own, but had come up early from the fields for a quick bite to eat, and check in on Claire and Brianna before heading back, to find Claire sitting in the upstairs hallway, back against the wall, her bosom heaving with effort.

“Sassenach,” he said conversationally, sitting beside her.

“Jenny’s with Bree,” she answered without preamble.

“Aye. And ye thought ye’d take a wee walk, did ye?” He discreetly moved closer to her so she could rest her head on his shoulder, if she wished. Which she did.

“I hate being stuck in that bloody bed.”

“I know.”

“I hate that I could only make it a few feet, before…” she gestured weakly.

“I know.” He turned and kissed her brow gently.

Brianna let out a skelloch and Claire’s body immediately tensed; the immediate urge to rush to her daughter’s side only stopped short by her body’s limits. Jamie moved instinctively, hooking his arm under her knees and one behind her back, but stopped abruptly as Claire laid a hand on his chest.

“No.”

“ _Mo nighean donn_ , please.”

“Go to the bedroom, wait for me there. I can do this - I _have_ to. Please, just let me do this,” she looked up at him, grim determination etched across her face. “Go check on Bree. I’ll be right there.”

He hesitated. Torn between doing as she pleaded and saying “bugger it all” and picking her right up without further argument. He relented though, leaving her in the hallway. As he reached their bedroom door, he paused, looking back to see her taking deep, restorative breaths, bracing herself to get up once more. His heart clenched seeing her falter. He shut his eyes, unable to stand seeing her struggle, but he knew he must let her, and even though every nerve in his body screamed out, he forced himself to turn away.

After what felt like an age, Claire appeared, exhausted and leaning on the door frame, a huge delighted smile on her flushed face. Jamie made a sound of distress and rushed to her and not waiting for any more comments, picked her up and put her in bed.

He’d been in the process of changing Bree, Claire saw, who lay in the middle of the bed and had half her clout tied, before Jamie’d been distracted.

“Hullo there, lovey,” Claire said cheerily, rubbing Bree’s bare tummy. Bree smiled suddenly at the sight of her mother and stuck her tongue out, arms and legs flailing gaily. “Has Da been _tutting_ at you too, then?”

“Mmphm!” Jamie snorted.

***

With Jamie’s help, Claire had begun making slow but determined laps of the hallway over the next week. Back and forth they went, Jamie’s arm round Claire’s waist and the other cupping Bree’s wee bum as she snoozed on his shoulder.

“I want to try outside tomorrow,” Claire said, a trifle breathless, yet firmly, after their latest trip. Jamie, who’d been plumping up a pillow for her while gently bobbing up and down, shushing Bree’s fussing, paused.

“Yer sure? It isna too soon?” He knew what the answer would be before he’d even finished speaking.

“No, it isn’t. Fresh air! The great outdoors! It’s exactly what the doctor ordered. Perhaps if the weather’s nice, we can take Bree out for a little afternoon picnic?” She’d been clinging to him as he readied the bed and pulled him down to her, kissing him gently on the cheek. He chuckled, resigned, and put his forehead against hers.

“ _A Dhia_! Yer one very stubborn woman, Sassenach.”

“But you like me fine?”

“Aye, I bloody well do. I’ll have Jenny make us a wee basket.”


End file.
